Back in the van Genphry sits in the passenger seat with Kazuma in the driver position, self-proclaimed King of the Van. Cedar sits to the right of me, in the middle seats, with Valia at her feet. Zac sits in back.
I sit behind Kazuma, with Adair in my lap. I shiver, even though earlier I told them I didn't feel the cold. That was then, when I still had supernova heat from the rave-dancing.
When I shiver Adair looks at me, "Are you cold?"
I nod.
He snuggles closer and says, "I will try to warm you up." In a French accent, "Though I am very small, so it might be hard."
Though his abnormally high body heat might help.
He IS quite thin. As I wrap my arms around him, to better utilize his body heat of course, I feel his hip bones.
I am aware of people talking, and activity in the van, but I don't know what is going on, I am too distracted by this near stranger's arms wrapped around me.
The rent-a-cop's lights roam around the parking lot, trying to earn their paycheck. Every once in a while those lights get so close it feels like they want us. When they do this, Adair fixates nervously on them until they pass.
When he does return to himself he just continues cuddling. This is how humans should be. Effortless affection with no obligations. I just wish I wasn't so sure he was on Ecstasy.














Comments
STOP BEING GOOD AT... bloody near everything creative, haha~
I wanted it to be subtle, what exactly was going on, but not everyone knows those tiny signs of what people are doing...I'm glad it had a good impact
I don't even know...I just wrote spontaneously, but I tried to give it a good flow...so that was important.
I don't even see it. (psh, obligatory modesty, of course I LOVE and appreciate your praise. I should just become more sure of myself. But without becoming an ass...)
--
there's a mindless self indulgence lyric for any occasion...
The atmosphere is very well built.
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"It can be more than just sounds and words-- it can be something that saves your from yourself, your thoughts, your life, your world." -Tsunami Bomb, Negative One to Ten
Like it?
--
there's a mindless self indulgence lyric for any occasion...
As far as description goes, it's hard to be overly descriptive. Any detail you can put in there, will only draw your reader into the scene. I like the way this piece is written, you have given your reader a good visual of the happenings going on. I just feel you can stretch this out alot more without losing your reader.
My fave line ^.^
The rent-a-cop's lights roam around the parking lot, trying to earn their paycheck.
--
ADVENTUM
GLORIFICUS
Bahamas' Gallery
Check out *simplypoetry, =Lit-Resources and ~distinctpoetry
for literature challenges
I am actually working on describing more of this club scene. I will post it in increments, I think...
I'm not sure, I know there's some sort of writer in me...
Yeah, I'm glad that line wasn't lost! XDDD
Thanks for the praise and crit.
--
there's a mindless self indulgence lyric for any occasion...
--
ADVENTUM
GLORIFICUS
Bahamas' Gallery
Check out *simplypoetry, =Lit-Resources and ~distinctpoetry
for literature challenges
--
there's a mindless self indulgence lyric for any occasion...
--
ADVENTUM
GLORIFICUS
Bahamas' Gallery
Check out *simplypoetry, =Lit-Resources and ~distinctpoetry
for literature challenges
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